Growing up...

So, it's been almost a year since I last "blogged" so I suppose I'll make this one a memorable one...

In the past year I've experienced ups and downs, highs and lows. I believe that at one point, I even hit the proverbial "rock bottom." Seeing that my life wasn't where I wanted to be, I finally decided that it was time for a change, I needed to completely turn the way that I was living upside down.

The defining moment came when I realized in the summer of 2006 that I would soon be disqualified from the School of Humanities at UCI and would need to take a year of courses at a community college followed by another full year again at UCI, despite being as close as I am to having enough to earn a degree in Literary Journalism. Besides being an insufferable blow to my pride, it was also a nuisance and inconvenience on my parents, who had such faith in me. The grief that this news caused them is nothing compared to my battered ego. The road to change is taken in small steps at a time, and there were many paths that I needed to traverse before I could become whole again.

This began with my eating habits and weight, something that I have been plagued by most of my life. It's also something that had spiraled out of control in the last 5 years, driven and fueled by my low spirits and morale. The turning point came on the first day at my new school, when the professor with whom I had 2 classes in the same day died of a heart attack. I had him for a class in the morning and met him, and then at his later class at 5:30pm, he had already gone.

And so, after some research on the internet, I started off down the road to a better, healthier life. I remember the first couple of weeks being excruciatingly dreadful, waking up sore and hungry, but I also gained a newfound energy and spirit for life that was completely foreign to me until then. I quit smoking at the same time, and the craving for food staved off my craving for nicotine. I began going to the gym on August 25, 2006 and weighed 236 pounds and set my goal to be 170 pounds by February 2007, and at least under 200 pounds by November.

I find that anything that I do in earnest, I will do excessively and wholeheartedly. I am the type of person who is either all or nothing, and this mental was applied towards my diet and excercise regimen. Everyday for 3 and a half months, I would eat 5 small meals consisting of chicken, bananas, fish and other sorts of tasteless, bland concoctions with my goal in sight. Everday I would be in that small, smelly, old 24 Hour Fitness for at least an hour and a half. By the end of the first month, I was nearing 210 pounds. By January, I was already in the 180 range and rapidly reaching my goal.

I won't say that it was easy, because it wasn't. There were many times that I wanted to quit, but I drew inspiration from my real life heroes who also refused to give up. Rocky Balboa, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan. I knew there were those who doubted me, and I thank them for giving me the strength to prove them wrong. I also thank my mom, who would always talk to me after I worked out, she was probably the ONLY person who believed I could do what I did. In retrospect, fitness isn't as hard as people make it out to be if you contain the discipline and desire to want to genuinely make a difference in your life.

At the gym, all my problems and concerns are nothing. It's just me, conquering a lifetime of gluttony and laziness. Conquering genetics, conquering doubt.

The attitude that I developed in the gym has also spilled over into my work and school, my supervisors instantly began allocating me more responsibility and last semester, despite working near full time hours as well as taking 5 courses, I was placed on the Dean's List at Irvine Valley College with a 3.6 gpa.

However, as I would always say to myself as I felt a knife was being jammed into my spleen as I ran on the treadmill, "Nothing of value can be gained without sacrifice." To move forward in life, I had to let go of other things in my life. If you've ever followed my blogs previously, you would be aware how big of an impact cars had been to my life. Yet, as I walked down a new trail in life, I realized how much of a burden it was to be neck-deep in debt over a car that I had never driven. My love for cars was a ball-and-chain that prevented me from being where I wanted to be in life. $10,000+ dollars in car parts that would never be used to their full potential was something that someone who makes as little as I do could be considered a poor investment. I had to let go, and I did. I sold everything, and the more I sold, the more i realized how all those things failed to fill the void that I had in my life. I didn't need those things to earn recognition. We are defined by what we do, rather than the things we own, despite modern societies' attempts to make it seem otherwise.

So here I sit today, 66 pounds lighter and 8 waist sizes smaller, happier and content. I don't want to sound boastful or like I'm bragging, because I still feel like I look and am the same person, I just sweat a lot less and breathe easier. Even though I've reached my target, I still feel that there is more work to be done. I don't see the results that I want, and I will continue to strive for that goal, whether it takes another 5 months, or another 5 years.

Letting go of my passion for cars has opened a lot of doors for me, both financially and intellectually. Being a man, I need to find other avenues to spend my hard-earned ducats on, so I've recently turned to clothing and shoes, particularly Air Jordans. But I just want to relive my childhood through the Jordans is all. I was there during all his greatest moments, I was born when he began his epic NBA career. I have grown along with the Air Jordan brand.

Now that I have the money to go out and play, I can experience the best that life has to offer. I've finally gone to Las Vegas and it was as memorable as they all say it is. I can go out and not have to worry about being pulled over for being DWAIH(Driving While Asian in a Honda) or having my car stolen. I can truly say that I'm finally living a normal life. I want to take all that the world has to give, and even moreso, I want to find someone to share those experiences with, something that I will be working on this year. Watch out ladies! =P

Yet, normality comes with it's own set of concerns and worries, of which I must also be wary of. My biggest concern is losing control of my diet and wasting my efforts of the past few months. I am still contending with debt and financial troubles, but through it all, I know that I can manage somehow. My hardships last year have taught me many a great lesson. Without sounding too corny, I am reminded of a quote from Batman Begins...
"Why do we fall? It's so that we can learn to get back on our feet."

Challenge and struggle is human nature, and I strive to challenge myself everyday. The following is a list of goals that I intend to achieve in the next 10 years.

-Graduate
-Get out of debt by the end of this year
-Save $5,000 by the end of next year
-Save $10,000 by the end of the following year
-Beijing Olympics 2008
-Tahoe - 2/22
-Get behind the wheel of a(n) Honda S2000, BMW M3, Lexus GS300, Mazda RX-8, Volvo S40 following graduation - open to comments and suggestions here
-Own a home
-Go on a cruise
-Vegas
-Get under 8% Body Fat Percentage
-Learn a martial art
-Own a pair of Jordan III,V, XI,XII,XIII

-Ascend to Young Exec. Status
-Drive somethin' red, like that horse standin' on it's hind legs

To anyone who reads this, I thank you sincerely for sharing in my never-ending journey and apologize for its long-windedness.