i can't front.

i miss alcohol.

i miss cigarettes.

i miss ketel one and tonics.

i miss marlboro milds.

i miss the apathy that comes along with systematically destroying your body, and the ensuing euphoria.

somewhere along the line when the new ray took over for the old ray, something happened where i started giving a damn, and to be quite honest, i don't like it. it makes me too uptight and strung out. i started to have something to live for, what that is has yet to be defined.

i miss being able to say "c'est la vie" about anything and everything. it was easy to be funny, because when life is trivial, anything is comedy.

no one laughs these days.