friends: how many of us have them?

i think i've been looking at what a friendship means completely wrong over the past year, hell, i may even have been looking at it wrong my entire life. i've always entered into relationships thinking what the other person can do for me, rather than what i can do for the other person. someone would have to take two steps toward me for me to take one in their direction.

i never considered what it is that i've done for you guys that makes me deserving of your friendship, and for that, i apologize.

i think, growing up as the only child in the house, and being the most watched over of my dad's other children has made me more self centered than i'd like to be. i always wished i had someone my age to play with everyday, but it was always just nickolodeon, and dad. i guess i've grown accustomed to the solitude.

with that said, it's important to not completely surround oneself with "yesmen," people who can do nothing but say "yes." there is more to be gained by criticism than there ever could be with empty praise. if someone is brave enough to tell you that they don't agree, or that you're in the wrong, or that you need change, then they are most certainly worthy of your friendship. consider that.

in any case, a friend said something to me the other day that got this wheel rolling in my head, and i appreciate them bringing it up, else i would never have realized how i'm selling some of you guys short. so, if you're reading this, not sure if you ever venture here, thank you to that friend, and to all you guys.

it's always been pretty awkward for me to call anybody up just to talk, with no agenda, or nothing to discuss, but just to simply talk. everybody's busy, i'm busy, who really has the time to open with their friends and just chat? as of now, i'm saying that i do, and i invite you guys to all call me if you have anything to say. you have my number, if not, shout at me if you need it.

so, that's about all. in prior years, i was lauded for my ability to conceal emotion, and now it seems 23 years of hard work has unraveled. 2007 has undoubtedly been the most interesting, revealing and testing year of my life, i will both welcome and lament its passing.

so in closing, i just want to say that we are defined not only by what we do, but also by what we don't do. life is shaped by who you spend it with. much thought has gone into the people in my life at the moment, and i'm grateful for all of you guys.

ps. if i ever start sounding like a whiny emo faggot who blows smoke up his own ass, which i'm fairly sure has been the case lately, let me know. haha, this reminds me of the time that i sent my mom a letter with a handful of those free avocado coupons and upon receipt of the envelope, she called me...

"WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME A LETTER?!?!"
"you wanted avocado coupons, so i sent them to you..."
"oh, when dad told me you had sent a letter, i was worried...are you ok?"

hahaha fuck, do i really look/act/sound that depressed?


i'm going to include a funny picture with every new post i make from now on, because people love looking at pictures. pictures tell a story. a picture is worth a thousand words.